Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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