Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Randomize