you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
