the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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