bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize