Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want a musical about memes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize