You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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