So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
