I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
