Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
