Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
