hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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