Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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