He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
