Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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