you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
