I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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