We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
