New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
