Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
