so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
