We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
