covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
