I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
