You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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