We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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