Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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