Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
