It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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