Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
