weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
