"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
