i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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