I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need to stop coming to work sober
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
