You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
