You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
