what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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