he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
