Your tits are I can't wait for
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
