if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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