is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
