you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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