I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
