:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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