ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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