You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
