why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
