i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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