Jerry, you need to find god
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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