Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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