You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
