my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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