big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I supernannyed him into submission
So apparently I’m into choking now
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
