no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize