We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
