i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
