dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
