Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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