I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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