he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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