In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You smell like stripper and shame
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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