Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is the high leading the old right now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
