I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
