Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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