If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
